I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
