4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
