i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
