all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
