Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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