Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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