but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
