We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
