Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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