I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
