You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
