wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
