i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
