Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Boobs are out for the taking
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize