dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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