She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
