Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
