i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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