This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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