It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
