feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
