I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
