You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
