I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
