i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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