Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
