Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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