Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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