Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
