hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
