remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
the raccoons are back...
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