problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
