i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
