Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
