why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
