I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Me too!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
