She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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