If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
