Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
