I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
