haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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