You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
