how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
