I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
