I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
