is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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