that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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