Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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