I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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