What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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