I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
