I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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