white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
